Living With People

I’ve never been happier than when I was living alone. I’m an INTJ. I prefer to have a cat, lots of books, and a cup of tea. As an introvert, it took me a few years to figure out roommates are not for me. There are various reasons for this, but mainly I prefer to live alone because I like a clean tidy house and don’t require much social time.

I enjoy living alone so much, that I have asked my husband multiple times if we can buy side-by-side homes so I can have my own house. He doesn't agree, unfortunately. Don’t get me wrong, there are many advantages to living with my spouse. For example, he is a mechanical engineer who insists on doing all the electric, plumbing, and car work himself. So, basically, he is very handy and saves us a fortune. It also feels safer when he is in the home and I love our daily walks together.

But, I would still rather live alone. So, why did I compromise on having my own living space? I feel that two of the most important goals to accomplish in life are a successful marriage and healthy stable children. Living in different houses, even ones side-by-side makes it harder to coordinate these challenging goals. So, I made a sacrifice to attain my goals.

Just like an advanced degree, a honed musical/artistic talent, and a life-long career the worthy goals of doing marriage and parenting well takes decades to build. We live in an immediate gratification culture where we are treated more like objects who consume like humans with emotional needs. So, it’s not necessarily common sense to sacrifice now to build up what only decades of good choices and hard work can bring. Certainly, when I went out into the world it took me years to learn that living with people, the right people your people is one of the most important factors in life quality.

Though I doubt I will ever stop taking vacations, seeing theater movies, and going out to dinner alone the annoyance of living with my people is worth it. It is worth it because the attainment of a successful marriage and healthy stable children is worth the delay of instant gratification of solitary living.