Myers Briggs Personality
I love the Myers Briggs Personality Type Indicator (MBTI). I discovered it in a freshman class at Spring Arbor University. Our professor made us all take the class and then split into two groups: thinkers and feels. 18 people went to the feeler’s side of the room and 2 people went to the thinker’s side - me and a military pilot.
That was the moment in my life when I found a tangible reason why I had felt so isolated in life.
I was 16 when I started college and an odd kid. When I found out I am an INTJ, I started to make sense to myself. In addition, I started to appreciate that people who are different from me, have value even if they are not primarily logic driven people.
The MBTI has been a cornerstone in my life and how I view the world. So, what is the MBTI?
Psychology
The MBTI is a personality test created by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter, Isabel Briggs Myers. They developed the test but not the underlying theory. Carl Jung created the original ideas behind the test.
The test divides people into one of 16 types based on their preferences on four spectrums. The four spectrums are Introversion and Extroversion (E v. I); Sensing and Intuition (S v. I); Thinking and Feeling (T v. F); and Perceiving and Judging (P v. J). Based on one’s preferences on these spectrums they can be one of 16 types:
ENTJ
INTJ
ENTP
INTP
ENFJ
INFJ
ENFP
INFP
ESFJ
ISFJ
ESTJ
ISTJ
ESFP
ISFP
ESTP
ISTP
In addition to getting a four-letter type, you also are told if you are assertive or turbulent. AKA - are you confident and high in self-esteem. This matters because you are not truly in your power and the strengths of your personality type if you are insecure and have low self-esteem.
Like I said earlier, I am an INTJ-A (assertive).
It helped me to learn this because it explained why dramatic gossipy behavior had no value for me and why I preferred the company of books and animals to most people. Not this doesn’t make me anti-social. I’m actually a person with strongly held family beliefs and prioritize spending time with my people a lot. But, I need a day alone every week to relax and fully recharge.
Now that I know why I am the way that I am, I can accept myself. Teen years are difficult for everyone and being different doesn’t make it easier. But, learning at 16 that everyone has different personalities and there is nothing wrong with yours made a huge difference in my life. So much so, that I have maintained friendships and chosen romantic partners partially because of their MBTI types.
Friends
It has been a long-held belief of mine that if you are not useful to me, I have no time for you. There are good public policy reasons for this belief - not everyone has your best interest at heart and if you don’t advocate for yourself no one will. With that in mind, believe me when I tell you that my friends are invaluable. I have become a better person in every way because of the privilege of having my friends in my life.
Because I value my friends so highly, I have paid close attention to their personality types. My close friends throughout my life have been INFPs, INTPs, ENFJs, and ESFJs. This does not mean I cannot be friends with people of any type. I just seem to have a preference for these complementary types. My faith that I get along best with certain types drove me to specifically ask for an MBTI test result on my dating app.
Partners
Online dating is annoying - just like in-person dating. Of all the human communication mating is by far the most confusing and frustrating. The annoyance I was experiencing when I build a Plenty of Fish profile was that I was receiving over a hundred messages a day. I was in an accelerated two-year law school program at the time. I just did not have time for that.
So, I wrote a three-paragraph bio and at the very end of my profile requested that you send me your MBTI personality type when you message me. And just like magic, I had less than 7 messages a day I would actually respond to because they sent their MBTI type.
After the pool was a reasonable size, an INTP messaged me. He wrote in full sentences with correct grammar, was cute, and was in school to become an engineer. Because one of my close friends as a teen was an INTP I thought we could have some fun.
Fast-forward four years and our wedding is in a few months. The MBTI has been a good indicator of who I will more easily communicate with and has served me well in finding a partner and in collecting mentors.
Mentors
In life, people who are not like you have the most to teach you. Being a scholar, bookworm, and nerd I have a lot of strengths and potential. But, I also have weaknesses and areas for improvement. Like I said before in the friends section, I keep people around who are useful. People who are more naturally diplomatic and more street smarts have helped me overcome my blind spots.
I think most people have the impulse to seek out mentors who are very similar to them. But, I have found that the opposite is helpful. I’ve learned more about being a good and wise person from mentors who are not like me than I could have imagined.
While I haven’t been able to MBTI everyone I’ve interacted with (unfortunately) I have a pretty good feel for people and what their type will be if tested. The best mentors are not only people who have done things I admire but are people I admire often because they are not like me.
In the end, the way I view myself and the world is influenced heavily by the MBTI. It made relating to people easier for me and also helped me collect and appreciate my tribe. I hope you find your type and it helps you.
