Breaking the Cycle

Why Are You Here?

I recently attended the annual retreat for a board in the local community I joined. At this retreat, we were each asked "Why did you join the Clermont County Board of Mental Health and Recovery?" My answer was "Because I am passionate about breaking the cycle."

Childhood Was Real But Not Real Fun

I don't talk too much about my childhood mostly because I am just glad it's over. But, childhood trauma does have a profound and lasting impact on a person's life. For some individuals, like me, traumatic experiences during childhood can lead to a state of hypervigilance, where they are constantly on high alert, anticipating danger or harm.

Hypervigilance

Hypervigilance can develop as a coping mechanism in response to traumatic events. In my case, my hypervigilance developed due to interruptions in my childhood like homelessness, domestic violence, and mental health issues of a parent. In these situations, your safety and security are consistently threatened, leading you to become hypervigilant in order to protect yourself.

Hypervigilance feels like a constant state of anxiety and fear. You can be easily startled, have difficulty sleeping, have night terrors, and experience intense feelings of anxiety. Hypervigilance makes it difficult to trust others, leading to feelings of isolation and loneliness.

At the same time, hypervigilance can also make a person feel hyper-aware of their surroundings. You may be acutely attuned to changes in your environment and be able to pick up on subtle cues that others may miss. This heightened awareness can be both a blessing and a curse, as it can help a person stay safe but can also lead to feelings of overwhelming stress and anxiety.

Living with hypervigilance is exhausting, both physically and emotionally. It feels like being constantly on edge, always waiting for the next shoe to drop/the next blow to come swinging. Individuals who have experienced childhood trauma struggle to relax or feel comfortable in their own skin, because their sense of safety and security has been deeply compromised.

Getting Help

Therapy and a low dose of Zoloft helped me because they provided a safe and supportive environment in which to explore the impact of past trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms for managing the symptoms of hypervigilance. Living in Flight, Fight, Freeze, or Fawn all the time breaks you down, and poisons the well of entire generations of families, and the body keeps score.

It is important to remember that hypervigilance is not a character flaw or a weakness - it's a normal response to trauma. With the right support and resources, individuals who have experienced childhood trauma can learn to manage their hypervigilance and regain a sense of safety and security in their lives. I did but it took a long time and the stigma around mental health services and self-care caused me to avoid solving the root cause of the problem for years.

Conclusion

So, I want to make it easier for people to break the cycle than it was for me. Very few children who grew up like I did find their way to a happy, healthy, and stable life. But, with more resources more children can find their way out of the cycle and into the lives they should have been born into in the first place. That's why the work we do at the Clermont County Mental Health and Recovery Board is vital.